Stumped: Cell Phones

No, I am not going to rant about people having private conversations on their cell phones in public places, even though that drives me crazy. What I want to know is, whom are all these people talking to, and do they really have that much to talk about?

Everyone seems to have a cell phone glued to their ear all the time nowadays. If a vehicle is loafing in the passing lane, five miles per hour slower than the flow of traffic, these days it's usually not a burgundy Crown Vic driven by a near-blind octogenarian three inches away from the steering wheel. It's a stylish forty-something Beverly Hillsian (or, around here, Bethesdian), in her Land Rover, yapping away on her cell phone, oblivious to cars high-beaming her and passing her, unsafely, on the right. Kids are even worse – cooking at eighty in their Scions and talking or, worse, twittering. Just the other day, I saw a well-dressed couple, out for a night on the town, and the woman had a cell phone at her ear. And her boyfriend seemed to have no problem with this. Every time I go to Target and see husbands and wives buying laundry detergent, there is at least one pair in which both are talking on their cell phones. Presumably not to each other. Never mind that I find it impossible to talk and do something else, even if it's just buying laundry detergent, at the same time – I am notoriously terrible at multi-tasking. Who is on the other end of all those lines? And what could they possibly have to say that requires constant communication?

Am I being hopelessly lame and asocial merely by asking these questions? I hope not -- I have friends, enough that I don't see some of them as often as I would like to. When J. is busy or indisposed, there are people I can call to go have a drink or a bite to eat. It takes two minutes to set a date, and then I can talk to a friend for two hours face to face. And I can't be the only one doing that – bars and restaurants are more jam-packed than ever around here, and everyone is talking talking talking. I have family, too -- not a lot, but some. We talk once every week or two. So who are those cell phone people? And what are they talking about on those phones all day? What could they possibly have to say? I welcome any and all theories.